Most attorneys hate litigation. Taking a case to trial is a big deal. The prep work can take months, even years in extreme cases. And once you’re in court, it’s stressful and not for everyone.
What is a litigation lawyer?
A litigation lawyer is the special minority of attorneys who relish the opportunity to advocate for their client in public. The very same aspects of litigation that make other attorneys shrink, fires them up. I find litigation challenging, stimulating, exciting, and competitive. And I like it when my clients win. (I.e. if I didn’t win most of the time, I wouldn’t do it.)
What leads a divorce case to trial? Does a litigation lawyer decide?
Any successful litigator is already busy enough without taking your case to trial. Like most attorneys, they’re going to do their best to find a solution outside of court. But when a couple just cannot agree on issues like asset division or custody or spousal support, the case may head in that direction.
As an experienced litigation attorney, what type of individual is more likely to wind up in divorce court?
It’s uncommonly difficult to divorce a narcissist, and it almost always results in litigation. A narcissist wants everyone to love them and think they’re so superior. One of the perils of facing a narcissist in the courtroom is that their biggest fear is being exposed as an average person or worse, as a bad person, and that’s the kind of thing that happens regularly during a divorce trial. Narcissists don’t want to be exposed to their own attorney much less a judge.
What’s more, divorce trials often expose very personal information like hygiene, family history, mental health struggles, even penis size (true story). And a lot of these hearings are in an open courtroom so anyone can be there to witness the exposure. It can be profoundly humiliating for anyone but especially for a narcissist.
This is why it’s important to work with a litigation lawyer who has lots of experience dealing with narcissists. Someone who knows there are tactics they can use if they’re not getting anywhere. I often disclose these sorts of personal details to the narcissist’s attorney before saying anything in the courtroom. It can create a negative situation but you have to leverage where you can when you’re dealing with someone with a personality disorder.
Another type of individual whose divorce is more likely to wind up in court is the victim of domestic violence. The people they were married to are, again, very often people with a personality disorder and/or mental illness. They’re people who are less likely to be capable of a calm, rationale conversation.
A litigation lawyer’s best advice to keep your divorce out of the courtroom.
Would you rather have a conversation in a park lined with fragrant flowers and children playing in the shadow of an oak tree? Or on a desolate battlefield with bullets pinning you to the ground and people yelling and blood flowing?
You have a hand in this decision. And it begins with a simple powerful truth: you don’t have to demonize your partner to divorce them. Try for grace. Accept that you’re going to win some and you’re going to lose some. And as long as that’s the case – and it is: no one wins everything or loses everything – try to come up with what could be perceived as a win for you and a win for your ex. You can do this.
Need an experience litigation attorney to help you resolve your divorce?
If you or someone you love is headed for divorce and you think you might wind up in litigation, learn more about how a Laughlin Legal litigation attorney can best represent you and your values. Call us now at 650.343.3486 to schedule a consultation with us. If you’d prefer, you can email us to set up your appointment. If we miss your call, we will respond promptly and call you back as soon as possible.
Laughlin Legal Family Law Group
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