Divorce
Alameda Divorce Lawyers
“Sometimes a good outcome is very clear – getting a restraining order against an abusive spouse, or getting spousal support against a spouse who’s hiding income. Other times, a good outcome is far more nuanced. Our California divorce clients typically have a lot at stake. Without fail, our best outcomes, our biggest wins, come about for two reasons: only one side did the work, and negotiation mastery is our strong suit. A big, big part of both is deeply understanding the people involved and what makes them tick.”
Amy Laughlin | Founder & Partner, Laughlin Legal
A Prominent Divorce Lawyer In Alameda On A Few Things You Should Consider Before You Get Divorced
If you’re living in Alameda County and thinking about ending your marriage, a best first step is to make sure you’re making informed decisions. To that end, ideally both you and your partner will review what a highly respected Alameda divorce lawyer thinks you should consider before getting divorced.
What’s the most fundamental question you’ll need to answer? We asked an experienced Alameda divorce lawyer.
“Many people don’t realize that divorce is just one way of ending a marriage in California.” Caitlin Ashton is a divorce lawyer in Alameda and partner at Laughlin Legal Divorce and Family Law Group. “Though the vast majority of partners ending a marriage choose divorce, legal separation and annulment are two other options that are more practical for certain couples.
Divorce is the most common way to legally end a marriage. In California, divorce is also called ‘dissolution of marriage, dissolution of domestic partnership, and once you’re divorced, you can stay single if you prefer or you can remarry or be in a domestic partnership again.
Once you have filed for divorce, you can ask the court to make orders regarding the following:
- Custody and visitation
- Child support
- Spousal or partner support
- Property division
- Domestic violence restraining order
- Attorney’s fees
Legal Separation, on the other hand, does not legally end your marriage or domestic partnership, so you cannot remarry or enter into a domestic partnership once you are legally separated. The orders you ask the court to make in a divorce can also be requested in a legal separation.
Some couples who choose legal separation over divorce do so because there are compelling financial advantages, like the health insurance coverage and tax benefits of being a married couple.
Other couples choose legal separation because they have religious or cultural reasons for not getting divorced.
Still others adopt legal separation as a transition that allows them to sort through their uncertainty about divorce and take their time deciding what to do next.
Annulment, also referred to as nullity of marriage or nullity of domestic partnership, is the least common of the three ways of ending a marriage. Ca.gov directly states, “Annulments are difficult to prove and rarely granted.” This could be in part because the party that wants the annulment has the burden of proof whereas since California is a no fault state, you do not need proof of any kind to obtain a divorce. It’s enough to say the marriage didn’t work, otherwise known as irreconcilable differences, no proof required. With annulment, there’s also a chance you will not be able to get spousal support or to divide assets.
An annulment occurs when a court finds that your marriage or domestic partnership was never legally valid. There are a number of reasons why a marriage may be found to be invalid:
- Incest. An incestuous marriage means either having sexual intercourse with or marrying a close blood relative, for instance a parent, child, sibling, half sibling, grandparent, great grandparent, aunt, uncle, nephew, or niece.
- Underage. At least one of the partners was under the age of 18 at the time of marriage.
- Polygamy. At least one of the partners is already married to someone else at the time of marriage.
- Unsound mind. At least one of the partners is found to have been incapable of fully understanding the commitment and obligations they were entering into at the time of marriage due to mental or psychological incapacity.
- Fraud or misrepresentation. This is the most common ground for annulment. One of the partners tricks the other into marrying them by lying to them or deceiving them in some way.
- Force. One of the partners threatens, forces, or coerces the other into the marriage.
- Incurable physical incapacity. At least one of the partners is physically incapable of having sexual relations.
What a family law attorney in Alameda County believes is the next big question to consider – what can you afford post-divorce?
Filing for divorce is a momentous decision with both short term and long term financial consequences. In the short term, the cost of getting divorced in California averages $17,500 which is $2,500 more than the national average. Alameda divorce attorney, Caitlin Ashton, adds, “That may technically be the average cost according to Divorce.com, but in my experience, this may more accurately represent the cost of a simple or uncontested divorce, which is rare. This might mean the parties do not have big disagreements over child custody, child support, spousal support, or asset division, and have a less than complex estate to divide. This might also mean the parties do not need to hire or work with any additional professionals, such as forensic accountant, psychologist, custody evaluator, parent coordinator, real estate or business appraiser, private investigator, etc. Overall, clients who are open to resolving their divorce through private mediation may resolve their matter more efficiently and more cost-effectively than through a mitigation track.
I’ve been practicing family law in Alameda County long enough to know that it’s rare that I’m working on a case with a stable and amicable divorcing couple who can communicate effectively and are willing to collaborate to reach a settlement quickly, without burning through their estate. When I do, I suggest that they try to work a few things out between the two of them first. Agree to meet at a mutually comfortable cafe or restaurant, each armed with a legal pad and a divorce to-do list, and don’t leave until you’ve reached an agreement on the big things – custody, support, asset division.
That’s ideal. But even if you can’t do it together, if you’re trying to save money on your divorce, it’s a good idea to put together a to-do list for yourself.
One of the big categories on your to-do list is asset division. Start by listing all of your assets which you will put into 3 buckets:
- Community assets or anything you earned after you were married but before you separated. This includes anything you bought with money either of you earned. Typically, these are the assets you divide.
- Your separate property assets or assets you either didn’t earn while married, like gifts, inheritances, or assets you acquired before the marriage or after you separated. Typically, these are the assets you keep.
- Your spouse’s separate property assets
Of course, splitting the stuff you have is only half the equation. Next you need to list and divide or share the debts accumulated during marriage like your mortgage, or car payments, or credit cards, or medical bills.
Next on the to-do list – assign a value for each of the items on your community assets and debts list. How you ultimately split up your assets and debts can be as creative as you like, but you both have to agree to the value of each item so you’re dealing with the same set of figures.”
What’s next? An Alameda divorce attorney suggests you try to figure out who lives where.
“Another big category on your to-do list is working out who will live where and what that will cost,” continues Caitlin Ashton, a divorce lawyer in Alameda. “This can be sobering because whereas you have both contributed to a shared lifestyle, post-divorce the same income(s) will have to support two separate lifestyles and households. It’s a good idea to get a professional perspective on financial projections, from an accountant or certified divorce financial analyst, so you can make informed decisions. They can help you figure out if it makes financial sense for you to stay in the marital home. They’ll need to know if you have an operating budget for your marital household, what it cost you both to live together, and they’ll help you factor in children’s expenses if relevant. Most divorce lawyers in alameda county have a number of financial professionals they can recommend to help you.
Here’s something all divorce lawyers in Alameda County can agree on: decisions you’ll make about your children will be critically consequential.
“If you and your spouse have children together, custody, visitation, and support are the next huge consideration,” in the opinion of one divorce lawyer in Alameda County, Caitlin Ashton. “Child custody is often the most contentious aspect of a divorce.
The good news is, you’ll have help navigating these emotionally charged issues because in the state of California, child custody mediation is mandatory. So you’ll have professional help in figuring out the who/where/when of child custody, and putting that into a parenting plan agreement.
As a divorce attorney in Alameda, I’m reminded constantly that California’s considerations for child custody are based solely on the best interests of the child, and with the exception of families where child abuse or domestic violence are present, that means joint custody for the very compelling reason that children are more likely to thrive when both parents are involved in their lives day to day.
Under the best of circumstances, divorce is traumatic for children. Their primary source of stability is threatened. And statistically, children whose parents divorce don’t do as well as children whose parents are married.
An article* on the National Institute of Health website states: ‘Nearly three decades of research evaluating the impact of family structure on the health and well-being of children demonstrates that children living with their married, biological parents consistently have better physical, emotional, and academic well-being. …divorce has been shown to diminish a child’s future competence in all areas of life, including family relationships, education, emotional well-being, and future earning power.’ Here are a handful of reasons why divorce adversely affects children:
- The child may lose time with each parent
- The child may lose economic security
- The child may lose emotional security
- The child may have decreased social and psychological maturation
- The child may lose cognitive and academic stimulation
- The child may be less physically healthy
- The child may have a higher risk of emotional distress
- The child may change his or her outlook on sexual behavior
Suffice it to say that unless there are significant reasons not to, like abuse or domestic violence, begin thinking of how you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse can make joint custody work. How the two of you navigate co-parenting is very consequential. It’s in the best interest of your child to do it well. A recent study** reviewed on the National Institute of Health website indicated that ‘High-quality coparenting has been found to contribute to a positive emotional family climate and to affect child mental health and social adjustment positively. Children whose parents work well together in childrearing issues are typically better off during early childhood, adolescence and adulthood. The association between coparenting quality and child well-being outcomes seems to be stronger than other characteristics of parental relationships, such as intimacy and love.’
In other words, it matters less to your children that you and your ex-spouse love each other, and it matters more to them that you can get along with each other.
Getting along means navigating change, being flexible when you need to be, and not criticizing or vilifying your ex-spouse. Here’s a common bit of related wisdom you might want to keep in mind – when you criticize your child’s other parent, the child doesn’t feel bad about the other parent, they feel bad about themselves.”
Terminology
In California, legal separation requires the services of a divorce lawyer and addresses all the same issues as divorce regarding asset division, custody, and support, but the couple remains married though living separate and apart.
Complex asset & business division in California is the process of determining the status of the assets, then dividing them up equitably between the divorcing spouses. There are generally two categories of assets. Marital assets are those accumulated over the duration of the marriage.
Since California is a community property state, each spouse is entitled to half of all marital assets. Marital assets are those that are acquired after a couple got married but before legal separation or divorce.
Non-marital assets, called Separate Property in California, are assets acquired either before the marriage or after legal separation, or gifts and inheritances acquired during the marriage. Be warned: assets aren’t the only thing considered to be marital. Debt, too, can be divided and shared.
Taxes and Accounting issues can be a significant consideration when determining asset division. For instance, claiming children as dependents, or capital gains tax from selling a property.
Spousal support or maintenance formerly known as alimony, is what one spouse may be ordered to pay to the other spouse. In California, even recipients of spousal support have an obligation to attempt to become self-supporting within a reasonable period. This is one of the most contentious aspects of divorce and it’s essential to work with an experienced San Mateo divorce lawyer and spousal support lawyer to achieve a fair resolution.
Child custody refers to the determination of how the parents divide the rights and responsibilities of taking care of their child or children. In California, every case begins with the presumption that joint custody is in the best interest of the child. A good San Mateo divorce attorney and child custody lawyer will tell you there are two types of custody, legal and physical, and advise you on the best options for gaining or retaining custody of your child or children. The legal custodian makes important decisions for the children and their welfare. The physical custodian lives with the children more than 50% of the time.
Child support in California is calculated using a statutory or guideline formula that considers parents’ gross income from all sources, number of children, amount of time children spend with each parent, tax filing status, and special needs of the children. When a parent refuses to pay child support, a San Mateo divorce lawyer and child support lawyer either seeks an order for child support or holds the ex-spouse legally responsible for inadequate or missing payments.
Temporary orders are orders issued by the court – such as temporary child custody orders or temporary spousal support orders – before the case goes to trial to establish boundaries and maintain the family’s status quo until a final divorce and/or custody agreement is entered and approved by the court.
In California, LGBTQ+ same-sex divorce couples have the same divorce rights as any couple, and there may be special considerations with parental and property rights.
Domestic violence, though prevalent in California, is often difficult to prove in part because abusers can be stealthy but also because physical violence is just one of many forms. For instance, it’s challenging to prove verbal abuse without witnesses. Victims of abuse who work with an experienced San Mateo divorce lawyer / domestic violence lawyer will find they’re often successful at obtaining restraining orders.
So what does one skilled divorce attorney in Alameda think is the most important decision you’ll make? Which divorce lawyer in Alameda you choose to represent you.
Caitlin Ashton of Laughlin Legal again, “Here’s why. With very few exceptions, there are no do-overs. Though legally it may be possible to change some of the terms of your divorce settlement agreement post-divorce, more often than not, your ex-spouse is not going to make that easy or fast. I think of it as re-opening Pandora’s box – most clients don’t want to go through this process twice unless absolutely necessary.”
Instead, interview a handful of divorce attorneys in Alameda County and choose to work with an attorney who treats your respectfully, whose values are in alignment with your own, whose level of experience and expertise give you confidence, and finally, someone you can see yourself spending a great deal of time with for as long as your divorce takes.”
At Laughlin Legal, our skilled Alameda County divorce attorneys, child custody attorneys, and divorce and child custody mediators help divorcing parties achieve a better outcome. We also provide a number of other custody-related services such as establishing paternity or seeking permission for relocation if a parent wants to move with the children during or after a divorce. We are trusted throughout California for our ability to understand and secure our clients’ needs.
Case Story
A Complex Divorce Client In Their Own Words
“Found them on Google search. I interviewed other attorneys. It’s an important decision and my case was complicated enough that I wasn’t going to just go off a website. I chose them for a couple reasons. I was ideally interested in someone whose offices were fairly local, didn’t want to go up to San Francisco. Also, I had a lot to sort through financially and saw that Amy was experienced with complex divorce. She impressed me with the range of cases she worked on, I felt she ‘got’ my situation. And it was a positive that she was a woman. A woman’s perspective and the perception of my then-partner would be a plus.
The experience surpassed my expectations. It was mediated so we managed to stay out of court. Amy provided really good counsel. I felt confident in her expertise. She was aggressive when needed and flexible when needed. I felt a high level of competence. Their working style was very important to me. Other thing, too, I only half joke about this but being a family law attorney is also part therapist, the ability to help me be centered throughout the process was important.
Their team approach was important. Both good thought partners and that’s important for me. I don’t just outsource stuff, I like to think things through. Not all attorneys like that. Caitlin was able to step in and help out on a couple of issues. I used Caitlin for the prenup because she’s really good. She did a really good job.
Responsiveness is key. Other attorneys I’ve worked with have hard boundaries – after 5 or on the weekends? Not available. When Amy was on vacation she still called in. That was great. And Caitlin made herself available nights, weekends, and I really appreciated that.
These cases can be frustrating. They helped me successfully navigate two fairly tricky marital situations, divorce and prenup, neither of which was easy and do it in a way that got good solutions. They did a great job.
Flexible, responsive. Put in a good fight. Focused on trying to get things done. Not trying to run up the fees. I’ve recommended them.”
ANONYMOUS
Breach of Fiduciary Duties in California Divorce: What Are the Consequences of Hiding Assets During Divorce?
California Family Code Section 2104 requires all divorcing couples to disclose to one another under penalty of perjury all of their income, assets, and liabilities within sixty days after filing
Next Step
Book a consultation.
Let’s talk about your divorce. How can we help?
If you’re looking for an accomplished Alameda divorce lawyer, complex divorce lawyer, child custody lawyer, child support lawyer, spousal support lawyer, domestic violence lawyer or adoption lawyer in San Mateo, Silicon Valley, or the San Francisco Bay Area, let’s talk. We can help. Call us at 650.343.3486 or email us here.
Let’s get started.
The FOREFRONT A divorce & family law blog
In the U.S., lawyers in general aren’t terribly difficult to find. We’re the 5th most litigious country in the world, after all. According
As with any legal practice area, what a child custody lawyer costs in California may vary profoundly depending upon the individual lawyer, law
Good question. You’ll find a multitude of answers online. Search “how much is a divorce in California” and you’ll see everything from $139