San Francisco High Asset Divorce Lawyers

A San Francisco High Asset Divorce Lawyer presents:  A Case Story of Hidden Assets

San Francisco high asset divorce lawyer, Amy Laughlin, Founder & Partner at Laughlin Legal has a story to share. “With new clients, we often find that in addition to setting expectations and sharing the basic timeline and terminology, it can be immensely helpful to share case stories. Just as case studies are an essential component of law school, they can be very instructive for most clients. It helps them to put their own case within a larger context. Here’s a high asset divorce case story we resolved several years ago…

They were both medical doctors. Not unusual. Medical doctors very often marry other doctors or medical professionals. They do so in part because the extended nature of their medical training means that a substantial portion of their peak reproductive years are spent exclusively in the company of other doctors and medical professionals and often in a hospital environment for long hours at a time. This particular couple was no exception. He was a surgeon, and she was a pediatrician. They met in medical school, found they shared a passion for making sick people well, got married, and found positions at different hospitals.

The husband was one of those surgeons who could not see why the absolute control he enjoyed in the operating room should end once he left it. In addition to controlling where their children went to school, what they studied and who they played with, he also insisted upon controlling the couple’s finances. When the wife pushed for greater inclusion in financial decisions, the physical abuse began. By the time she was looking for a San Francisco high asset divorce lawyer, she uttered the words we so often hear from abused spouses: ‘I just want custody of my children, and I want it to be over.’”

An experienced San Francisco high asset divorce lawyer on what ‘I just want custody of my children’ really means…

Laughlin continues, “When we hear ‘I want it to be over, or I just want custody of my children,’ more often than not it conveys a spouse who has been beaten down, whether physically or emotionally or both, and has given up on advocating for themselves. As a result, they’re not making good decisions. This is when I step up to fight. Either that or this parent will be back in my office a year later unable to support those children she fought so hard for.

We suggested that she join us at an event early that same evening, a fundraiser for a nonprofit that supports victims of domestic violence. She sat at our table and as she watched the video of men and women coming to terms with their own victimization, she began to cry, understanding for the first time that she, too, was a victim of domestic violence. At that point, everything changed for her.

And her husband was not happy about it. We processed a restraining order and got into the grueling work of asset division. Her husband fought her every step of the way. I first suspected he might be hiding something when it became clear to me that his attorney was wildly unethical. You see, people tend to find attorneys that match them. And typically, if someone will hide one thing, they’ll hide other things, too.”

What not to do when you’re facing certain San Francisco High Asset Divorce Attorneys…

“Turns out he had covered up multiple assets, or at least tried to. But after years practicing securities litigation and representing the C-suite elite in Silicon Valley, I’m something of an authority when it comes to high finance. And opposing counsel is often blind-sided by my experience and knowledge. Those who are hiding assets always want to mediate because they think that’s their best shot at keeping hidden assets hidden. But I can spot someone who’s hiding assets. They can be more emotional than they realize, sometimes but not always aggressive, often arrogant, and they have a spouse who frequently has access to almost none of their assets. The spouse in this case, the wife, was busy with her own medical practice while raising their two children and trusting her spouse. (The custody battle in this case is a story for another time.) She had effectively been kept in the dark and knew little to nothing of their shared assets.

And her spouse expected that he could control me as well as he had controlled my client. But he didn’t know who he was dealing with. For starters, we did not mediate division of assets. And as often happens, their marital estate was far, far larger than my client imagined. Empowered by her new understanding of the abuse he had heaped on her, she stood up for what was hers. And she more than got her share.  She is worth so much money now. And he was livid. He thought he was going to walk away with everything. Founder stock in a medical device startup? Half of it is hers. That beachfront property he bought his mistress? Guess who lives there now. Membership at a nearby golf club and spa? It’s hers. Even better, today she is a philanthropist, a passionate advocate for victims of domestic violence.”

What’s the moral of this high asset divorce case story?

“The big takeaway is simply: Do not set yourself up to be a financial victim. While most people don’t marry someone who is planning to systematically swindle them, it’s certainly more likely to happen within the context of a high asset marriage. Be smart and actively participate in the financial aspect of your marriage.

A secondary takeaway is: If you are going into a marriage with significant assets, sign a prenup. We know it’s not the most romantic step to take when planning to spend your life with someone else, but in our experience, prenups can set couples up for greater transparency throughout their marriage. Establishing a dialogue, a way of talking about things you’d rather not talk about is a great way to begin a healthy marriage. And if that marriage ends in divorce, that prenup can save a couple a bundle. We think of a prenup as a small investment that can pay big dividends.”

A High Asset Divorce Attorney in San Francisco On How To Keep Yourself From Becoming An Asset Division Victim

Not every high asset divorce lawyer has securities litigation experience, but Amy Laughlin is one San Francisco high asset divorce attorney who does and is happy to share a few tips on how not to become a victim of hidden assets.

“Some of this may sound fairly obvious, but in my experience, when trust is firmly in place in a relationship, very few people think to ask questions much less insist on answers. And trust me, abusers will take advantage. Don’t invite trouble by not asking questions! If your spouse either responds ‘Can’t you see I’m busy right now?’ or ‘I can’t find the paperwork’ or asks you, ‘What? Don’t you trust me?’, that is an automatic red flag. In fact, not being able to easily access bank statements and tax returns is in itself a red flag. Thanks to online accounts, it has never been easier to store and access your financial account information. Anytime your spouse prevents you from learning exactly where your money is coming from and where it’s going, that is a red flag.

Often, one spouse’s priority tends to be looking out for the family, for the children. And too often, that person feels like it’s only fair that their spouse balances that by taking care of the finances. Don’t misunderstand, you should be able to trust your partner, that’s important. But you owe it to yourself to stay informed. There’s nothing wrong or suspicious about informing yourself. A marriage should not be a dictatorship filled with financial secrets! Insist on a true partnership. Your marriage will be better for it.

One aspect of staying informed is knowing what your partner makes. Look at your partner’s W2 as well as his/her bonus check. Participate in getting your taxes done every year. No matter how busy you are with your kids or your job, join your spouse at the annual meeting with your accountant and make sure the accountant copies you on all email correspondence. Don’t sign the tax return without reading through it first and asking questions about things you don’t understand. Become educated! And always keep a copy of your return on your computer. A good general rule for couples is: do not let your spouse sign anything for you, and do not automatically sign anything your spouse asks you to sign without reading it first.

Definitely review the monthly bank and investment statements. I can’t tell you how often a spouse makes some curious expensive purchase or loans a substantial amount of money to a cousin you may or may not have heard of. More common than I wish. Another common form of hiding assets is hiding them as a loss or debt. “I never told you about the money I borrowed from my dad?” Or they lost money on an investment. Some will even go so far as to start weaving stories of their company falling on hard times so they can report that they got a pay cut. Except none of it is true.

My intent here is not to encourage people to doubt and distrust their spouse. Not at all. It’s to encourage people to take responsibility for the financial aspect of their married life instead of reflexively deferring to their partner. Few people comb through financial statements for the fun of it, but if you make it a monthly practice, it’s a lot less painful. Make sure your statements are available for you to review every month whether they’re sent via mail or email.”

Possibly the Best News About Your San Francisco High Asset Divorce

If your high asset marriage is moving in the direction of divorce, and you’re not sure how to respond when the subject of mediation or legal separation, child custody or spousal support or who gets the family house comes up, Caitlin Ashton, Partner at Laughlin Legal and high asset divorce lawyer in San Francisco, has a simple answer. “Let’s talk. You’re not alone. High asset divorce is one of the things we do best at Laughlin Legal. We will guide you, advise you, and position you and your case to its greatest advantage. So interview a handful of high asset divorce attorneys in San Francisco and choose to work with an attorney who treats you respectfully, whose values are in alignment with your own, whose level of experience and expertise give you confidence, and finally, someone you can see yourself spending a great deal of time with for as long as your divorce takes. And do a little homework – read the client testimonials on our website and other firm’s websites to see how past

A good place to start is asking a simple question: Why did you become a divorce attorney? Here is Amy Laughlin’s answer. “I understand family trauma. Divorce is a family trauma. And I have a passion for putting my history and knowledge to work by securing a much better tomorrow for people who need us. When I decided to become a family lawyer, I was determined to be one of the best divorce lawyers ever because I know better than most what’s at stake. To me, that meant protecting every client in two crucial ways that my own mother was vulnerable when she got divorced: by becoming as fluent and sophisticated in finance as the most experienced opposing counsel, and by giving clients my mobile number and taking their calls at all times of the day and night in case there’s a family emergency.”

A good followup question might be: Why do you keep doing it? Isn’t it hard to deal with broken hearts and broken promises on a regular basis? Here’s how Caitlin Ashton answers that question. “Being a family lawyer, you might think I’d be deeply cynical about the institution of marriage. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I understand the value of family and I strongly believe in marriage. My career has actually helped me prioritize and appreciate my own marriage and made me a better partner. Handling my client’s issues and emergencies has taught me many life lessons. Whether in court or in the office, I am calm and keep my composure where very few people could. I am a straight-shooter, offer clear and honest advice, and try to empower each client to reach agreements to meet their specific needs, whenever possible.”

Laughlin Legal Divorce and Family Law Group is a collection of some of the most skilled divorce attorneys, child custody attorneys, and divorce and child custody mediators in San Francisco. They also provide a number of other custody-related services such as establishing paternity or seeking permission for relocation if a parent wants to move with the children during or after a divorce. Laughlin Legal is trusted throughout California for their ability to understand and secure their clients’ needs, and help divorcing parties achieve a better outcome.